


Every Now and Then I Fall Apart

by Pisces314



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfam is bad at feelings, Crying, Declarations Of Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, Lots of Crying, M/M, Pranks, Spanish-Speaking Jason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 07:45:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9312134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pisces314/pseuds/Pisces314
Summary: The first time Tim Drake cries over Jason Todd, Jason doesn’t know about it. Jason doesn’t know because he’s dead.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Continuing with my JayTim spree because I just adore them. 
> 
> No Manches is a shortened phrase that is a expression of disbelief in Mexico. Because I read this headcanon where Jason sometimes speaks Spanish when he's in shock or trying to get out of trouble and I think that's wonderful. 
> 
> This might be my last posting for awhile. I need to work on my novel and my fics for JayTim Valentines week 2017 so unfortunately I probably won't be posting anymore until then. Wish me luck!

The first time Tim Drake cries over Jason Todd, Jason doesn’t know about it. Jason doesn’t know because he’s dead.

Tim Drake stands unseen in the back watching Jason’s casket lower into the ground and remembers. Remembers photographing Jason on his first night out as Robin. Remembers how he could tell this was a new Robin because he moved differently from Dick Grayson. Where his flips weren’t nearly as graceful as his predecessor, his punches were much more powerful.

He remembers seeing Jason again the very next evening, this time without a mask. Tim is at a charity gala Bruce Wayne is hosting, being dragged around by his mother and introduced to the most influential families in Gotham, most of which have daughters around his age, his mother never fails to mention.

He’s looking around for his father, who is most likely a few drinks in when he spots him. A boy maybe a few years older than him looking angry and uncomfortable in his expensive suit. The boy catches Tim staring and makes a show of scratching his cheek using his middle finger. Tim laughs, getting an unimpressed look from his mother.

Tim remembers taking pictures of Jason giving a lollipop to every child he came across as Robin. Comforting them with words Bruce or Dick never knew how to say.

Tim  remembers photographing Batman’s soft smile as he watched Jason’s victory dance he did whenever they stopped a crime.

Tim didn’t bring his camera to the funeral. He doesn’t want to remember how small Jason’s body looked, hearing Bruce’s wretched cry as he split apart falling to his knees in the mud, the butler’s helpless expression, paralyzed with grief, unable to help Bruce.

So, as silent tears run down his face, Tim focuses his thoughts on Jason as he was alive.

 

The second time Jason makes the replacement cry, Jason knows. But he doesn’t feel remorse. He doesn’t have room for remorse. The anger is filling him up and boiling out of him and only the sound of his fist pounding into the flesh of this **_wannabe_ ** soothes it. He stops hitting when the kid stops fighting back, moving limp like a ragdoll when he’s struck, and Jason thinks maybe he’s killed him.

But when he rips the mask off the replacement’s eyes meet his without hesitation. His eyes are wet, liquid streaming down them from pain. Jason’s broken more than a few of his bones since they started their fight on the Titans’ Tower.

But, behind the tears, Jason is met with a fearless stubborn gaze. As if those blue eyes are saying ‘Do your worst, you’ll never break me.’ And Jason remembers.

Remembers when his teal eyes shown with that same light, remembers when he wasn’t scared of the pain or the cruel laughter because he knew Batman would find him, knew Batman would get there before-

Jason can’t seem to find his breath, he aims the gun but his grip is shaky and he knows the bullet didn’t land where he intended it to go but Jason can’t stare into those eyes a second longer. Hopefully the kid will bleed out before the others wake up.

***

The third time Jason makes the replacement cry, Jason is shocked. Mainly because he didn’t expect such a reaction out of him. He had been working his first case with his fellow birdboys after a reluctant alliance had formed. Jason figures when it’s either them or letting Gotham get blown up by Dr. Nuke, Nightwing and the replacement are probably the lesser of two evils. The deal is sweetened by the fact that Batman is out of town on Justice League business.

The first few times they meet up, things go pretty smoothly. That is until Dick had to open is stupid mouth the other night. Just after Jason had found intel on where Dr. Nuke’s base was located, without killing anyone in the process.

Telling Jason he was proud of him. Like Jason actually _cared_ what he thought. Like Dick had the right to feel _proud_ of anything Jason did. So, Jason decides to get revenge the old-fashioned way, with a hella good prank.

The next time they all go out on patrol, Jason has rigged Dick’s com to translate anything anyone says to him in Chinese. Watching Dick furiously try to mime the attack plan would probably be the highlight of his whole year. What he didn’t expect was for anyone else to enjoy it.

That being said, when he looks over to see the replacement bent over clutching his side he thinks the replacement is hurt and rushes over to him before he remembers that he hates the kid.

“Oh my god, Jason-” The kid gasps. “That was amazing!” The kid uses Jason as cover as he takes of his domino mask to wipe the tears from his eyes and shooting a grin at Jason.

Jason feels his heart thud loudly against his chest in response. Replacement is pretty damn good looking when he smiles.

****

The fourth time it happens, Jason is high (on morphine calm down kids). And Tim, well Tim seems angry by the way he’s gesturing furiously as he speaks and pacing back and forth around the room.

Jason can’t make sense of anything Tim’s saying because he’s too busy concentrating on how his body feels light as a feather. He pats the bed with his hands to make sure he hasn’t floated away.

“Timmy…” He slurs, lifting a hand out towards where he thinks Tim went. He lost track of him while he was pacing. Tim immediately comes back into view, marching over to stand next to the bed.

“Stop moving you idiot, you’re supposed to be resting.”

“What happened?”

“You decided it would be a good idea to go after Dr. Nuke on your own. Can you guess how that went, Jason, hmm?”

  
He remembers a bright flash of light, a split second of agonizing pain, and then nothing.

“ _No manches_.” He groans in response.

“ _No manches_ is right! He threw a freakin grenade at you! You’re lucky it was faulty and the blast was only a portion of what it was meant to be. What if you hadn’t been wearing your Kevlar or hood, huh? You think you would have made it out okay?” Tim sniffs then wipes at his face angrily. Jason can see his eyes are rimmed with red and he looks like he’s going on another one of his sleepless binges.

His brain being mush is really the only excuse for his next actions. He reaches over to grab Tim’s arm and pulls.

“Jason what-Hey!” Tim says as he falls onto the bed, managing to avoid Jason’s injured limbs.

“Come float with me.”

“I don’t even know what that means.” Tim replies tiredly, pulling the blankets over both of them. He knows he shouldn’t have let Jason pull him to bed. Jason is probably going to freak out when he wakes up, but Tim hasn’t slept in three days and he can’t really find the energy to care.

So, instead of leaving, he places a kiss on Jason’s forehead and says-

“Be more careful next time. We just got you back. You can’t just leave us again.”

*****

The fifth time Tim Drake cries over Jason Todd, Tim is fairly certain he is about to die a sudden, embarrassing death.

Last night during patrol they had finally taken down Dr. Nuke and the three of them had celebrated with a Men in Black movie marathon. Tim fell asleep on Jason’s shoulder by accident halfway through the second movie. He woke up this morning with a stiff neck but thought it was worth it when he noticed Jason’s arm draped around his shoulders.

Tim carefully untangles himself from Jason, stepping over Dick’s snoring form on the floor to get to the kitchen. He’s just finished spooning an unhealthy amount of sugar into his coffee when he hears someone else come in. He turns to find Jason leaning against the doorway.

His hair is still mused from sleep, his clothes are rumpled and he has a slight shadow on his face from facial hair that has grown since his last shave. Tim has a brief fantasy of running his hands over the stubble, imagining how rough it would feel on his hands. He blinks and notices Jason is looking at him with an amused smirk.

“Good morning.” He mumbles after a too long pause.

“Mornin,” Jason drawls, still smirking at Tim. “Sleep well?”

“Y-Yeah.” Tim can’t tell if he likes the way Jason is looking at him and that smirk usually means trouble.

“So I was thinking-“ _Okay_ , Tim thinks, _Jason thinking is definitely not a good sign._ He takes a long swig of his coffee, making the mistake of swallowing just as he registers the rest of Jason’s sentence. “-you and me should go on a date tonight.” And the coffee goes down the wrong pipe.

Tim immediately begins hacking as his throat tries to repel the coffee out of his system. He drops his cup on the counter and moves his hands to cover his mouth because even when he can’t breathe he still has _manners_.

Normally, when something goes down the wrong tube, the coughing only lasts for a couple seconds but, due to Tim’s natural bad luck and the fact that swallowed half his cup in one go, the coughing lasts for well over a minute for it subsides.

When he can finally breathe again, he registers the dampness on his face and quickly wipes it with his shirt sleeve. Jason has moved from the doorway and is standing next to him, gently rubbing his back and looking at him with mild concern.

“You know you coulda just said no. You don’t have to commit suicide to get out of it.”

“You still wanna date me?” Tim rasps a laugh. He’s aware he’s not looking his best with his red face and swollen eyes.

Jason grins wide, making his eyes wrinkle. “Definitely.”

*****

The first time Jason Todd cries because of Tim Drake it’s because of something he said. Something Jason hasn’t heard someone say to him in a very, _very_ long time.

They had met up after patrol, a routine of theirs now, at Jason’s favorite safe-house  to hang out. Tim hasn’t ever stayed the night but tonight he had asked if he could. And Jason couldn’t say no to those deep blue eyes and charming smile.

So, after about twelve rounds of Mortal Combat(nine of which Tim had won. Jason should have known. It’s always the quiet ones.), they decide to go lay down.

Jason feels heat stir in his stomach at the sight of Tim only wearing his own boxers and Jason’s too big shirt. He quickly averts his eyes and concentrates on getting settled in the bed. Everything was still so new between them he didn’t want to mess anything up.

They lay in silence carefully not touching any parts of their body. After a few minutes of this, Jason can’t stand the awkwardness any longer. Rolling over on his side to wrap an arm around Tim’s waist and tugging him close, entangling their legs together and resting his head on Tim’s chest.

Tim chuckles and places a hand on Jason head, running his fingers through Jason’s hair in a relaxing pattern.

“This is much better.” Jason merely nods in response, Tim’s movements already lulling him to sleep.

Jason isn’t aware of how much time passes before Tim speaks again, voice soft and slurring because he’s two seconds away from passing out.

“I love you, Jason.” Tim let’s out a little sigh, falling peacefully asleep while Jason stares wide-eyed into the darkness of the room.

As he closes his eyes, letting two drops of liquid fall onto Tim’s shirt, he thinks of how he never used to believe it was possible to cry over feeling pure happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are much appreciated, 
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr [here.](http://glaciya.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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